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My Mobile Cafe
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One Liners
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• We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart,
we take separate vacations--we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together |
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• Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy:
Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter |
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• Two women were talking about their new milkman.
First:
He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.
And so quickly too!, said the other. |
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• Santa & Banta were walking in the highlands
then suddenly Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: Are you ok?
Santa: Fine thanks!
Banta: Did you break anything?
Santa:
No, there's nothing down here! |
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• An old: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several
times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down. |
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• Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you
wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no
mat. |
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• It isn't widely known, but the first toilet seat
was invented by an Irish scientist in the 18th century. The invention was later modified by an English inventor who put a
hole in the seat. |
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• There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change
Clinic. It reads "We may never piss this way again." |
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• Santa always leave an empty milk carton in the
refrigerator just in case someone wants their coffee black. |
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• Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These
are the world's largest waterfalls & the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes
passing can't b heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra Falls?? |
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• We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart,
we take separate vacations--we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together |
|
• Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy:
Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter |
|
• Two women were talking about their new milkman.
First:
He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.
And so quickly too!, said the other. |
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• Santa & Banta were walking in the highlands
then suddenly Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: Are you ok?
Santa: Fine thanks!
Banta: Did you break anything?
Santa:
No, there's nothing down here! |
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• An old: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several
times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down. |
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• Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you
wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no
mat. |
|
• It isn't widely known, but the first toilet seat
was invented by an Irish scientist in the 18th century. The invention was later modified by an English inventor who put a
hole in the seat. |
|
• There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change
Clinic. It reads "We may never piss this way again." |
|
• Santa always leave an empty milk carton in the
refrigerator just in case someone wants their coffee black. |
|
• Guide: I welcome u all to the Niagra falls. These
are the world's largest waterfalls & the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, sound of even 20 supersonic planes
passing can't b heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagra Falls?? |
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was the prob?
Just shit in the air filter
How often
do I hv to do that? |
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• Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking,
he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister." |
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• Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are
already leading a dog's life! |
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• A history teacher & his wife were sitting at
a table. The wife asked. 'Anything new at work?'
He replied, 'No, I'm teaching History.' |
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• Two old ladies were attending a rather long church
service. One leaned over & whispered: My butt is going to sleep. 'I know,' replied the other, 'I heard it snore three
times.' |
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• Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A:
One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so. |
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• A guy took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler,
calling people for their views on various issues. On his very first call, he introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone
poll."
A man on the other end replied, "Yeah, and this is a street light!" |
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• Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks
inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly. |
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• Boss: I'll give you 3000 per month and in three
months, I'll raise it to 6000. So when would you like to start?
Santa: In 3 months. |
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• A girl proposed to Santa and he denied simply saying
that in our family, we marry only our relatives. My mom married my dad, my brother married my bhabhi , my uncle married my
aunt and so on. So please excuse me !!!!! |
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• Phool aisa ho jo baag ko khushbu se bhar de, Hamsafar
aisa ho jo andheron ko roshan kar de, Dost aisa ho zindagi ko khushi aur mobile ko SMS se bhar de... |
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• Vakhre subha de sade sajan payare,
kadi gusa
jeha aanda kadi lagan piyare,
gal guseh wali karde gusa aan v na dinde,
pehla dil taur dinde phir ron v na dinde... |
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• Pyar Karnewalon ki kismat kharab hoti hai,
Har
waqt inteha ki ghadi sath hoti hai,
Waqt mile to rishto ki kitab khol ke dekh lena,
Dosti har rishtey se lajawab hoti
hai |
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• Ankho me aansuo ko ubhar ne na diya,
Mitti ke
motiyo ko bikhar ne na diya,
Jis raah pe pade the tere kadamo ke nishan,
Us raah se kisi ko gujar ne na diya |
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• Unj tenu Rab diya rehmata batheriya,
jithe kite
jaye galla hundiya ne teriya,
Par jinne joge assi unni karange zaroor,
Koi saade like sewa hove dasana zaroor |
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• Sawaal paani ka nahi, Pyaas ka hai,
Sawaal maut
ka nahi, Saans ka hai,
Dost to duniya mein bahut hain magar,
Sawaal dosti ka nahi Vishwas ka hai |
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• Suna hai asar hota hai baaton mein, Aap bhi bhul
jaoge Do-Chaar mulakaton mein,
Lekin humse bachkar kahan jaoge, Aapki dosti ki lakeer hai mere haathon mein |
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• Aapki dosti ki ek nazar chahiye; Dil hai beghar
use ek Ghar chahiye
Bas yun hi saath chalte raho ae dost; Yeh Dosti hume umar bhar chahiye |
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• Tu te hor kisse di ho gayi ni sannu laake Jhoothe
laare,
Galiyan de vich rulde phirde ni assi Naina de Vanjaare... |
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• Baanh phad ke rok lende tenu, je sada chalda koi
zor hunda,
Asin tere layi kyon ronde, je tere varga koi hor hunda... |
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